"It´s my duty to become a married woman, the only possibility in my circumstances to get the freedom I need" My grand-grandmother was an extraordinary person, she had learned hairmaker and was able to look after herself. She was independent when one only looked at the money she could earn, but the thoughts of all the other persons around her were the most restricted one can imagine. "Look, young Miss R., she thinks she´s something special who needs no man. She´ll fail sooner or later, I beg." Her husband took her because she had a correct hairstring and clean shoes, that he thought were the two and only characteristics that count when one looks for a good wife for the rest of one´s life. I´m sure it wasn´t love what the two fitted together but they managed life and having a fixed position now in human community, wife and soon mother, she was free.

"It was a wonder when I met him, he was so different from me but he could open my eyes for the world´s beauty. I really admired him" These are the words of my grandmother, I often heard her talk of her gigantic but short love. It was the time around the 2nd World War, just before they married and soon after he had to become soldier and she was pregnant. They hadn´t long time together, but their love seems to be a miracle, intensive, with the strength of two hearts who felt that death was hanging in the air. He fell in the "field of honour" when his daughter was nearly 2 years, and it wasn´t quite necessary because he wasn´t dangerous wounded just so that he could soon go home to his family. In some way he felt relieved that his wartime had ended and the thoughts that he might see his little daughter made him happy. But in the night he died suddenly on embolia. Later my grandmother married again to give her child a father it was still easier to be some man´s wife than to live alone with a daughter, but there was no freedom only anxiety and rebellious thoughts of leaving him.

"There was and is still love between us, perhaps it was random that we met and even more random that we married in the end but looking back I see I´m choosed to share life with the person I love for such a long time." My mother´s only wish was to become completely independent from her family. She learned a lot and loved her job who gave her enough to live and to stay alone. She never thought of giving up working and learning just because one meets the man one loves and wishes to live with. He was a student when they first met and for long not able to "found a family" as elder generations might say. They married because they were made for each other but they stayed independent over the years and that fixed them completely together. Liberty had made up an arrangement with her sister called Love and together they were able to create the "perfect couple"

And now it´s my own turn and I have to confess that everything except Liberty had vanished: I don´t mind what the people around me will think of my way of living, I never had a satisfied "firelove" nor a love that grew constantly by time and fitted me completely to one person and I´m sure that´ll never happen. I´m completely free but I sacrified love on the altar of independence. Sometimes I think if it must have come like this, if it was really a succeeding process from generation to generation. In some way we were all longing for a person to share our independence but we differed in the way of making compromises. I want the highest stars and I know I only will get a silver little nothing and that´s it.