First time I saw her I knew that she was the person seing directly into my inner feelings. It was a view full of power and immediate understanding. I was shocked and afraid but in some way relieved. Everyone I met was in this time a danger, because everyone could throw me out of my position in the firm if he knew what she had captured from one to another moment.

Our teacher looks pleased he likes being nearly into the center of everyone´s attention, he jokes, he laughs and is completely master of the situation as usual. We are visiting a chemical firm with our chemistry course to show us what could perhaps be a later job for us if we´d like to study or made a training in this area. We needn´t come to this excursion today, only the really interested are there because final exams will take place in a couple of days and nearly our whole course is learning. There´s the leader of the laboratory, he explains the structures and processes, the possibilities of working here, he shows us the machines and what happened where, it´s interesting and all of us are absorbed by his intense manner of speaking, his voice is low and not very loud, from time to time it sounds like breaking after a very long speech with cough, he is exactly the opposite of our teacher. I like him as you like an ill person who suffers of the same as yourself, quite familiar, there´s no need of explanation I see, that´s enough, and I know that he knows that I´ve seen and understood. Poor fellow.

What´s that for a chap, quite surprising, he always looks at me with this nearly colourless grey-blue eyes and there´s something inquiring in it I´m not able to describe. I´m a little irritated and somewhat disgusted. I´m sure my wife could explain his manner, perhaps I should ask her this evening she is much more sensitive than I. Silly chap, I hope my girls won´t be attached from him, but capturing their eyes I´m quite sure that our "class-spectator" must have reckogned something.

There´s no doubt about, some really bad event fixes the two together, even if our teacher doesn´t remember because he is the type of man who forget easily and never is deeply touched from events he causes in others. He is a so called "healthy man", strong, loud, without much thoughts about heaven, god, death, love, etc, just ordinary, normal, common. Looking at the other part I know he is burned out to the deepest of his inner feelings, his shame is nearly consistent to me like a picture he has to present to sensitives who can see and imagine his suffering.

There had been a festival in town and nearly everybody was there, wandering around in the pleasent summer-evening together with the beloved person, the whole family or friends, only a handfull perhaps lingering alone through the many attractions. And there was the teacher, together with his wife, his arm negligent around her shoulders and their two little kiddies, a completely happy family having fun and enjoying themselves. And there was the other, in the crowd of extremely positivity, alone with his unsatisfied longing for love and friendship, alone with his beating heart as the family passed and for a moment their eyes met, alone - as usual.