She had invited me twice, does this mean she feels perhaps more than accepting my qualities at work? I wanted to invite her, too, but impossible, she strictly denied it and I saved my money. I felt nothing fer her, it was only curiousity that let me think about her feelings. I noticed that she clothed herself correct and perfect but there were these real short skirts, the open blouse, more rouge on her cheeks and a new very sweet perfum odeur. She played a role I guessed, she presented me the woman she never wanted to be, the little "femme" as the french say.

She had an affair with nearly every new member of the team, it seems as if her sexual appetite always needed new fruits to taste, and the more exotic the better. We male collegues were surprised how easily she snatched new victims, it seems as if she had some mixture or magician trick she used because there were not one man in the whole firm who hadn´t break in after some time. I myself included. It didn´t last long but when I think back my heart again starts beating with double power.

The new collegue, how long will it take this time? She had started immediatly with her game. Yes I couldn´t call it something else because there wasn´t any seriousness in the whole affair it would last 3 or 4 weeks, maximum perhaps 2 or 3 months, but the end was calculated as before, it wouldn´t be the "man for life" as one used to say. Often I think it´s only her way of demonstrating her sexual power and top-position. As men always used to do when they are successful and rich. A man who behaved like this was quite normal nobody would start mocking about, it was accepted in community. But a woman? It wasn´t correct to judge her with different measure but we all felt shocked about, it was scandalous. How long will it last, that was the one and only thought that whispered through the rooms and floors of the whole firm. We pitied the new victim in future.

I had brought her home after a client-meeting we had finished successfully. It was late the fight was not easy and we had reason to clap our shoulders. I laughed relieved and gave her five. It was some sort of boisterousness between us, so my concentration wavered away and relaxed after this heavy day I accepted her offer to come in for a tea and some snacks she still had from her birthday two days before. I awaked when she tried to kiss me, oh no, no, no, that wasn´t what I´d exspected. She looked askingly and I thought it a good chance to tell her that I´m homosexual.

He broke the wall of sexual affairs I had built around me to protect myself. You laugh? You´re right, it´s a stupid way to protect oneself but I feared real feelings and intimacy, I feared the people around me. But now he had opened a way I never had seen before: he offered friendship and gave me the freedom I needed. "It´s like offering fruits and vegetables to a carnivore, or food to an alien from mars who needn´t eat", he said in his excusing tone for not hurting me and the ban fell down.